Dr. Nadine Macaluso is a licensed marriage and family therapist with locations in New York and Los Angeles and has a Ph.D. in counseling and somatic psychotherapy. She loves to introduce herself as a Master Connector and a Mindful Communicator, mostly because her work revolves around helping her patients connect with their authentic self, enhance self-awareness, and form a deeper connection with oneself and those around.
The key part of Dr. Macaluso’s practice spanning over a decade is keenly observing and helping couples and families discover hidden love, improve bonding, resolve conflicts, and give birth to hope while endeavoring in the journey of self-discovery. One of the key problems she comes across in her practice is the lackluster in long-term relationships, which is widely prevalent but should not be the case. Dr. Nadine recently provided insight into how to survive long-term relationships, which are workable, impactful, and reignite complacent love or passion.
Don’t Get Influenced by What You See in Romantic Movies and Read in Novels.
Research shows the romantic phase in a relationship lasts for anywhere around six months to just over three years. While there are exceptions everywhere, it is best to set realistic expectations that do not burst the bubble of love in the future. So, for people who want to mirror what they see in romantic movies, just know it’s a path that’s best left unexplored.
Make Sustained Effort
When asked recently, Dr. Nadine replied that long-term relationships need nurturing, and it requires sustained and conscious effort to keep them fresh and vibrant. It is more like a roller-coaster that would have its ups and downs, but with consistent effort, the power of love would help it thrive.
One of the critical mistakes most people make in a relationship is venting in the disguise of criticism. “Letting go of criticism is important,” Nadine says, “as in most likelihood it has all been said before. Criticizing too often doesn’t help the relationship but instead manages to widen the emotional distance.”
Be Honest and Truthful
Without a doubt, the basis of any relationship is trust, and it comes from being truthful and honest. The key to building intimacy and trust in a relationship is for partners to be truthful and honest, no matter how bitter. It may hurt for the moment but cements the trust and relationship in the long-term. It is the transparent approach that matters.
Seek Out Other Friendships
For partners, whose lives revolve only around their better half, the relationship can get suffocating and overwhelmingly tedious with time. Seek out other friendships to help defrag the relationship. It helps the individual partner get the space they need to revive themselves. For partners without many friends outside the relationship, it burdens the relationship emotionally, causing outbursts, developing unrealistic expectations, and bringing fatigue that fades the love, one shade at a time.
Imagine the Alternative!
According to Dr. Nadine, one of the most common things partners do in long-term relationships is take each other for granted. If they can only imagine the world without them for once, it would make it easier for them to realize their partners’ importance in their lives. Imagine an alternative life without the partner to accept the reality with an open heart.
Explore the Advantages of Long-term Partnerships
Couples often overlook the advantages they have by just knowing each other for too long. By simply analyzing the difference between someone a person has lived with and known for years to starting a new relationship that is only a week or a month old would surface the fear, that it’s just not worth it. In some cases, it may be worth it, but mostly, doing simple emotional math can help people realize they are better off right now.
Being Expressive is Important
When people lose someone close to them, one of the biggest regrets is the inability to say things they wanted to say. As one of the leading NYC Psychologists, Dr. Macaluso helps and advises her clients to become more expressive and aware in their relationships by asking unasked questions. “What would you say to your partner today if you knew he/she is dying tomorrow?” It’s not something people want to imagine, but it’s a question that rewires the approach people have towards their partner in the present. Expressing gratitude and love doesn’t make a person vulnerable, it is a strength to be proud.
Take Time to Know Each Other Well
Long-term relationships often develop monotonous patterns and routine that lasts for years. In the process, partners lose the urge to explore their partners further, as they did on their first date. It is important that once a relationship is stable, partners make conscious efforts to know each other well, unveil hidden dreams, expectations, goals, and desires. Consistency in the effort plays a huge role here.
Don’t Shy Away from Uncomfortable Conversations
According to Dr. Nadine, one of the biggest problems in long-term relationships is identifying the problem yet choosing to live with it rather than talking it out to find a solution. It might be uncomfortable or scary to talk about problems or issues that are causing resentment, distrust, and distancing partners, emotionally or physically, or both. However, it is the will to heal the relationship that should provide the strength to find a solution.
Long-term relationships may not be as sexy or fun as it once used to be. Still, with conscious effort and respect for each other’s emotions, it leads to developing an unshakeable relationship that may get old, but never old enough.
Dr. Nadine Macaluso asserted, “Learn to appreciate how meaningful that really is, even if it isn’t as sexy, fun, or exciting as it once was. I believe what it’s been replaced with can be something much deeper.”
Dr. Nadine has offices in Glen Cove, NY and Hermosa Beach, CA.
Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCE_S_wioJw
Dr. Nadine Macaluso (formerly known as Nadine Caridi and the Duchess of Bay Ridge) is a Psychologist and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist offering individual counseling, couples counseling, relationship counseling, and family therapy. Dr. Macaluso is a certified NARM practitioner, a somatic mind-body approach to psychotherapy. She also specializes in relational trauma, complex PTSD, Dark Tetrad personality disorders, anxiety, and depression. Dr. Nadine uses her experience of being previously married to the Wolf of Wall Street when working with couples and helping individuals heal and create healthier connection patterns. Dr. Macaluso’s private practice has locations in Glen Cove, New York and Boca Raton, Florida, and she is currently accepting teletherapy clients. More information about services and specialties can be found at nadinemacaluso.com